1 – /Bugga’s talking to herself while locked in a closet:/
Let’s take stock of the situation…
Bugga and Gorn formed a warband in the humie town of Sandpoint, so Bugga calls them the Sandpoint Warband. The warband was strong, and when finished fighting found where the bad humie Spoon Punch came from; it was a humie castle called “Thistletop”. Spoon Punch was Nice Inn Humie Soup Spoon’s brother, and the baby of the yelly old humie who yelled at everyone, “you’re the probrem here, ruh ruh ruh!” and then got melted in the glass… shush, Bugga just had to remind the audience of the characters!
Anyways! There was a worse humie at the thistley place? So, Warleader Pinchy and Fartbutt… Butt… Fart… you know, just between Mister Sniffles and Bugga, Fart and Butts and Farts needs a better name. He’s not a Buttfart, he’s smart! He says “everyone hide around the corner!” and everyone does and then the bad gobrins die! He tells Mister Sniffles where to tickle and then the bad monsters die! So he should beeeee… Warchanter Snickersnack! So Warchanter Snickersnack, Dizzy Kaboom, Gorn, and Warleader Pinchy said that they were going to go to Fistlesnot, and Bugga went with… where else would Bugga go, Mister Sniffles?? BUGGA THOUGHT SO.
So Bugga and the Sandpoint Warband went to the Whistlebop and fought some gobrin dogs and played with Gogmurt, and then took a nap. Gogmurt was nice after a bit of a fight, but first Gorn had to sort him out. When Gogmurt tried to sneak away (as all smart gobrins do), Gorn was able to get him in the wall with a rumble-boom, and even though Mister Sniffles was sent away, Bugga’s stone friend Mister Crumbles helped stop Gogmurt’s playing and kill his kitty. Tickley kitty! It tickled all of the red out of Warleader Pinchy!
So in an attempt to prevent unnecessary gobrin deaths (because Bugga likes gobrins, hehe), Bugga made friends, and said that Gogmurt was her friend and that was that. Gogmurt didn’t like Bugga’s humies but Bugga isn’t with humies, she’s guiding them in the gobrin ways and they are a true warband! Gogmurt seemed to be okay with that, so he gave Bugga his nice doggy cape and Bugga promised to play with him later.
Then, Gorn told Bugga some stories from his new book! Bugga thinks that Gorn is taking unnecessary risks with the book but Gorn says he’s special and the words aren’t stolen from his head. Bugga needs to learn this trick… so much to learn from Gorn! If Bugga can learn Gorn’s tricks will she become as strong as him? Bugga knows that the strongest Spirit Callers and Magic-Makers use the books, but it is still beyond her. Gotta learn the- wait! What’s that sound, Mister Sniffles?!
2 – /Bugga got interrupted from her recap by sounds of fighting and the horse again outside of her door. She cowered, then when goblins came by to finish off the horse (she heard it dying), she joined in with them, convinced one to introduce her to the chief, and talked his ear off as he escorted her to the tribe’s leader./
… So Bugga was saying that Gorn has power over books, and he told Bugga more stories before bed. The next day, Bugga was woken up by Warleader Pinchy and Dizzy Kaboom; there was a surprise coming! Bugga would stay quiet, then jump out and use all of her best tricks on the humie outside; Bugga was so excited!!
So Gorn pushed the door right off the wall and smooshed two gobrins who were obviously guarding the party cake, and Bugga and everyone else fighted the lady humie. Stupid lady humie! Wasn’t supposed to let her get to the cake, but she ran away, and Bugga chased… and then Bugga was on the bridge, and the bridge went away! Warleader Pinchy felllll downnnnnn… splash! … What? Yes, Bugga’s getting to that part, shut up!
So Bugga climbed Dizzy Kaboom and Dizzy Kaboom got kicked in the face by someone and then Gorn fixed the bridge because Bugga was scared and then the Sizzlepop gobrins tried to stop Bugga and Gorn and the warband from joining the party. Then things happened and Bugga was tired so Bugga hid in the bushes and told Gorn to hide too… yes, that’s where Bugga and Gorn went! Bugga knows, it WAS tricksy; thank you, peon gobrin!
… Oh, that’s the chief? Okay, Bugga will tell the rest later. Okay, Bugga promises!
3 – /Bugga’s tale continues as the party arranges the surrender of the tribe; it seems her audience grew a tiny bit, and the Thistletop POWs are rather interested in the telling of the tale./
Oh? Yes, Bugga can tell the rest… let’s see… So, the chief chased Bugga… Oh, before that? Okay, well Bugga hid in a bush and then the Sandpoint Warband asked her to ask her way inside to join the party, so Bugga did her best hello and then stuff happened and there was gobrins and food… yes, Bugga’s hungry too; shoosh.
So then there was a BIIIIG big-bites-scream-and-stomp in the room. Yes, Bugga doesn’t understand why Bissledrop gobrins kept the stupid big-bites; so screamy and stompy! Just part of the systemic dissolution of gobrin societal values, clearly. Rather a sign of the times, Bugga thinks. Yes, it is a sign of our decaying culture and… Oh, make POOPY, Bugga misheard. Yes, go ahead.
So, Bugga was a little scared of the big-bites-scream-and-stomp, and Gorn hid her in the closet… well, Bugga doesn’t remember that part so well. Then, Bugga met the chief- uh, former chief Ripnugget, but Chief Ripnugget not very good at listening to good plans, and Bugga had to runnnnnn… thankfully, Bugga is clever and went past where the big-bites-scream-and-stomp was and found Gorn! THEN! THE! CHIEF! DIED! /Bugga fails to suppress her glee./ Should have listened to Bugga about Gorn~!
So, now Bugga is queen, and that’s okay with Bugga, but Bugga has adventures with Gorn to do… Oh, you want to know more about how king died? Okay, well Bugga ran, then turned! And Ripnugget chased too far and was in the big room but Bugga already went into the big big-bites room. Bugga knew Gorn would go this way because Gorn went all of the other ways! Ripnugget didn’t, hee!
But Ripnugget was fast, and Ripnugget’s buggy monster almost caught Bugga again! It hurt last time so Bugga had to RUNNNNNN and Bugga did; Bugga went to end of hall and then the stairs because where else? No time to pick! Bugga heard downstairs, too: Warchanter Snickersnack said “get ready here come gobrins hur hur” or something and Bugga jumped down and hid. Then, Ripnugget came in SUPER FAST but Bugga wasn’t afraid because Gorn was there! And Warleader Pinchy and Warchanter Snickersnack and Dizzy Kaboom! And Gorn pulled Ripnugget off his buggy and they all chopped at himmm…. and Bugga hid! Bugga’s smart! Chief Ripnugget didn’t like Bugga’s words but Bugga knew that he’d like Gorn’s whip less!
So, now chief is dead, but it’s okay; Bugga loves the Gristlemop gobrins, and Gogmurt didn’t want to be chief or king so Bugga is chief and queen! Bugga will make sure her tribe is safe; Bugga’s very nice to gobrins and learned from the best: Kuzmog the Never-Dead said Bugga would be queen one day, and taught Bugga about queening! Bugga is the roundest gobrin around now so that means Bugga’s a good chief! Bugga knows how to get food best; give shinies to humies for it! Then all the Blobblebop gobrins get big like Queen Bugga!
… Now, first question from queen: what’s downstairs that Bugga and Gorn and and Dizzy Kaboom and the other ones should worry about?